I forgot to update at the end of last week. But then, I didn’t really have much to say other than that I haven’t bought anything that isn’t food. Or booze.
I still haven’t, but temptations abound. For example, my mother and I took a little trip to St. Augustine, Florida, which is my favorite place to throw money around. First, so much silver jewelry. Second, several clothing shops which specialize in my particular style, which is clothing that looks presentable for a nice dinner out but is essentially pajamas. I cannot possibly overstate my love of cotton or linen, gauzy, loose, capri-length pants, sometimes with some sort of adorable embellishment at the hem. Hold on a sec. Okay, I’m back. Yes. I have seven pairs of pants in this style. Here in Florida. I don’t know how many I have at home. This would make sense if I switched things up occasionally, but I basically wear the same pair every day for nearly a week so this is just dumb.
Anyway, we steered clear of the main tourist shopping area, but we went to the Lightner Museum, in the courtyard of which are several antique stores with boatloads of kinda-gaudy estate jewelry and while no, I didn’t buy anything, my mom is kind of an enabler and she came up with some cockamamie reason why she just had to buy me something, so next time you see me, try not to be blinded by the giant topaz ring I’ll be sporting on my finger like it’s the Hope Diamond. NOT MY FAULT. ALSO, I DIDN’T BUY IT MYSELF! BUT SHE SAID ‘THAT IS SO YOU’ SO WHAT COULD I DO? SHE WAS RIGHT!
But that’s a shitty copout. I don’t need a gaudy old antique topaz ring. And by that, I mean I don’t need another gaudy old antique topaz ring because I already have a couple. I feel super bad for my kids when, someday a long, long time from now when I die, they go through my jewelry and are like “OMG THIS SHIT IS PROBABLY WORTH BILLIONS! THESE GEMS ARE GIGANTIC! THESE ARE PROBABLY INTERESTING AND RARE-COLORED DIAMONDS!” And then they take it all to be appraised and the jeweler says “Your mom really liked shopping for estate jewelry, didn’t she? Here’s a hundred dollars for the lot.”
I’m totally going to wear the hell out of that ring, though, and I’m going to love it. Thanks, Mom.
So, here are some things that I’m thinking about for the coming weeks:
–I am fully anticipating that my addict brain will start fucking with me soon. I know it’s only been three weeks, but the bitch has been quiet. Too quiet. I’m looking at my bank statement and thinking “Wow, I have way more money right now than I usually do at this time of the month,” and no little voices are piping up saying “YOU NEED ANOTHER CAMERA LENS” or “YOU DON’T LIKE ANY OF YOUR PURSES GO FORTH AND TRY, ONCE AGAIN, TO FIND THE PERFECT ONE LOOK HOW MUCH MONEY YOU HAVE YOU CAN TOTALLY AFFORD IT WHO CARES GO GO GO MACY’S IS OPEN UNTIL 10 AT THE VOLUSIA MALL.”
I know she is not dead. She will rise again. I gotta figure out how to derail her when she shows up. I have some thoughts, but they mostly involve vodka so I’ll wait to share my plans for defeating her once I have some plans for defeating her, or until I do defeat her, or until she wins.
–I don’t know what to do about gifts. Re-gifting things is an idea I’m tossing around, but I can really only do that if I know for sure that whatever I re-gift is something that person really wants or needs because otherwise I’m just making my crap someone else’s problem and that’s not fair.
–I could dump the whole lot of my excess stuff at Goodwill and be done with it. I think that’s a fine solution for clothing that I don’t wear that’s still in good shape. But I think I could do something better with some of the other stuff.
Yes, I could sell it. I could set up an eBay shop and make myself a tidy sum. But I feel pretty strongly (and you’ll probably think I’m an idiot and make fun of me either to my face or behind my back and either is fine, I’m good) that I put that money into the economy and I don’t get to take it back.
It’s probably going to have to be on a case-by-case basis, but the plan I’m currently fooling with is to put items up for sale or for bid, and whatever proceeds go to charity. Goodwill is only going to charge, at best, $20 for that $200 Patricia Nash purse that I loved when I bought it. But I bet I can get at least $50 or even $100 for it. And that money will go to the organization of my choice. I gotta do some good with this beyond just ridding myself of excess stuff. It’s imperative.
Because I have to make ridding myself of excess stuff with feeling good–with feeling better than that temporary high I get from swiping my credit card and walking away with something new that I don’t need. Otherwise this won’t work in the end.
Then again, Goodwill might just get a bonanza soon.
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