New Year’s Resolutions are fucking stupid. They are just the worst fucking idea that any asshole ever came up with.
Okay, maybe not the worst. I mean, fireworks stores exist. As do potatoes wrapped in plastic ready to be “baked” in a microwave for sale in the produce section right next to the potatoes that aren’t wrapped in plastic that can also be baked in a microwave, only you might have to wash them and they are not pre-wrapped in plastic (DO PEOPLE PURCHASE THESE THINGS AND IF SO WHAT IS WRONG WITH THOSE PEOPLE? Please comment below if you have ever purchased one of these things and let me know what in the hell is wrong with you. Explain yourself.). I want to meet the asshole that came up with this idea and shake his hand because he figured out just how dumb people can be and he capitalized on it and that’s basically the meaning of capitalism so I guess it’s not the worst idea ever. No. It is the worst idea ever. Pre-washed, plastic-wrapped fucking POTATOES. With instructions on them on a sticker stuck onto the plastic. Jesus, people!
(Side note: Please just bake your potatoes in the oven where they belong. Scrub them, rub them with olive oil, sprinkle them with sea salt, stick them in at 350 or 375 and wait a little while.)
Anyway. What the hell was I talking about? I don’t even know.
A couple of years ago, I was reading through some of my journals and I realized that if they were digitized and a search was performed on the word “should,” it would appear roughly 16 billion times. I should write more. I should exercise more often and harder. I should exercise at all. I should get off the couch. I should eat less cheese (hahahaha. Never). I should perhaps not base all of my breakfasts on what best goes with whatever bread I’m craving. I should write more. I should organize my photographs better. I should finish my novel. I should finish that creative non-fiction book based on the history of Ormond Beach. I should finish ANY of the roughly 6000 projects I’ve begun. I should finish knitting that poncho. Or that poncho. Or this scarf. I should return that email. I should write those letters I keep saying I’m going to write. I should finish my to-do list. I should call the plumber. I should have made another cocktail before I came back upstairs. I should clean the kitchen. I should do my laundry. I should not own enough pairs of underwear to ensure that I don’t have to do laundry for 4-5 weeks. I should stop buying clothes. I should stop buying camera equipment. I should resist buying the new iPhone. I should read all of the books I’ve bought on my Kindle and haven’t read. I should SHUT THE FUCK UP.
There is not, and I’m not kidding, NOT enough room on the internet for me to actually list all of the things I have told myself I should do or should be doing or should have done. The internet would break. You would all be sad and then you’d be mad at me.
I wake up every morning between 5 and 6 a.m. It’s just a thing. It’s hard for me to stay in bed after I’ve woken up. I try really hard but I get bored just laying there awake and so I get up and I watch the sun rise. What a fucking gift that is. If I somehow manage to miss the sunrise, the whole day just seems strange. But I never lie awake in my bed before dawn and think “I should get up and watch the sunrise today.” I just do it. Because I’m awake and I’m interested to see how different it will be than the day before and watching the sun come up makes me feel alive and there you have it.
The only things I should be doing are the things that make me feel alive. Typing that out and looking at that sentence makes me laugh because DUH.
Writing makes me feel alive. Looking at a to-do list of writing projects I *should* finish makes me want to kill puppies.
I’ve revamped my site a little bit here to better reflect the things that make me feel alive, and to make it easier for me to share those things with you, my vast legion of three or four readers. I’ve taken down some older posts that don’t fit my current vision, and I’ll be building towards that vision until that vision changes, which it will, because it always does and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just what I do. Maybe someday when I’m all grown up I’ll have it all figured out.
If you don’t want to have to remember to visit here, sign up for my newsletter over there in the sidebar. When I say infrequent, I mean like once or twice a month I’ll send you some highlights and probably a recipe or a pretty picture or something to brighten your day.