Today is a day of gratitude. A day to remind myself of the depth of my blessings.
Some are easy. Because who wouldn’t be grateful for the luxury of being able to lie still with eyes open and watch the way the sun illuminates the clouds passing overhead, for the miracle of wind and water returning sand to the dunes that Hurricane Matthew wiped away? To be able to judge every morning whether or not a sunrise was as glorious as the one the day before? For the pure moon-driven magic that is every wave crashing to shore? I suppose there are some that might not even notice it. I am grateful that I can and do.
The love and support of my family and friends–easy. Some friends so long in my life that I’d forgotten who we were for each other over the years, who’ve reached out to remind me that they are still there; some so new, with a connection so deeply felt, that the gesture of their own hurting soul reaching out to comfort mine, lifting me up, reminding me of things I’d temporarily forgotten, has changed the course of my life.
Those things are easy, no? Those blessings are right there, in words and deeds. Thank you, thank you.
Others are harder.
Today, I find myself grateful for having the capacity to love and to have loved. Love is never wasted, even on those who find they don’t know what to do with it, nor how to return it, nor how to allow it to fill the endless void, even if just a little. Because the act of giving love is a gift to myself, and to the universe. It always comes back to me–oceans full of it. That, up there, a couple paragraphs up–that is what I’ve put into the world coming back to me a hundredfold.
The universe often provides even when an individual cannot. It is not a selfless act, it is no sacrifice, to love someone who cannot love. It is a gift to myself. To find that my capacity to love cannot be drained, not even by someone who cannot help but be a vampire, is a joyful miracle. The more I give away, the more I have to give, and the more that comes back to me. There is no simple math when it comes to love, no physics, no need for explanation. It just is what it is. A gift. A spectacular gift that no human hurricane could ever destroy, no matter how violently his wind might blow.
Today, I am grateful for love.